Man Refuses to Pay For Dates with Girlfriend After Finding Out She Has $200K in Savings, Claiming She Is ‘Rich’ and Should Pay For Herself

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Sep 16, 2024 7:00 PM EDT

Despite being strong and independent women, some of us enjoy the romance of men acting chivalry towards us. Just because we have jobs and don't need a man to pick up the check at the end of the meal, doesn't mean that we don't think it is a nice gesture and a gentleman thing to do. 

When I first started dating my boyfriend, he insisted on paying for everything, which made me really uncomfortable at first. But as I got used to the idea, I realized that being treated that way made me feel… good and appreciated.

The woman in this Reddit story started out her relationship feeling the same way. She didn't mind splitting up everyday expenses with her boyfriend, but she wanted him to pay for dates when they went out, and so he did. Until he discovered that she had $200k in savings, and decided to split everything up from that point on, which made the girlfriend feel like he was more of a roommate than a boyfriend. 

Keep scrolling to read the full story. After you are done, click here for a story of a woman who cut off her in-laws for revealing a family secret.

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  • 01
    LB 10658259 V 100 293 A 871504 A HE UNITED S ALL DEBTS, PUBLIC AND PRIVATE 3518 A EDERAL 5936 B He found out that I have a lot of savings. Like $200k. And then he doesn't want to pay for dinner anymore. He said we should both pay for only what we eat/use/consume. 9789 C 145 A EDERAL 268 A ντες 100 ERVE NOTE
    via mykolasosiukin
  • 02
    My BF used to pay for dinner, until he found out I was "rich".
    via yesnomaybe123no
  • 03
    My BF and I moved in a year ago and from the start he wanted everything 50/50. I go along with 50/50 because it seems fair and also I have less
    via yesnomaybe123no
  • 04
    income but I have greater savings and investments. I earn 50k and he earns 150k. All I asked was if we go out for dinner it would be romantic for
    via yesnomaybe123no
  • 05
    me if he pays for it. I guess I am old fashioned in that way. He pays when we go out maybe once every 2 weeks maximum $80 total.
    via yesnomaybe123no
  • 06
    I also do 90% of the cooking and cleaning. I buy the cleaning products coz he has no idea. I also pick up groceries sometimes and don't bother
    via yesnomaybe123no
  • 07
    asking him to pay me half. If I spend $30 or less I just don't even worry about it. Then we go do groceries together and spend maybe $100 and he will start taking note of
    via yesnomaybe123no
  • 08
    how much I will use from these groceries and how much he will use. eg. I bought tampons and he wanted to take that $4 out of the total amount to divide in half. I
    via yesnomaybe123no
  • 09
    CBF with that tedious nonsense. He eats more food than me but I'm not gonna divide the cost of a loaf of bread 60/40 to make sure everything is exactly fair.
    via yesnomaybe123no
  • 10
    He found out that I have a lot of savings. Like $200k. And then he doesn't want to pay for dinner anymore. He said we should both pay for only what we eat/use/consume.
    via yesnomaybe123no
  • 11
    This really ked the romance for me. Thing is, he is embarrassed to pay separately at a restaurant, so he will still go to pay, but will ask me to transfer him half later.
    via yesnomaybe123no
  • 12
    He has no problem spending thousands of dollars on laptops, games, VR and other tech accessories. But he won't buy me a dinner. We are both very financially comfortable. It makes me see him as like a friend not a boyfriend.
    via yesnomaybe123no
  • 13
    GenuineClamhat •2d ago • Edited 2d ago Math wise, you make $100k less than him. Sure, you have investments but he was HAPPY to take advantage of you and go with 50/50 while it benefitted him. Then he wants to nickel and dime
    via GenuineClamhat
  • 14
    every item in the house because...it benefits him. Someone who will fight you over a few slices of bread is NOT someone ready to be in a partnership or who really cares about you. You are doing 90% of the cooking and cleaning and he pays for a date night once every
    via GenuineClamhat
  • 15
    two week? I bet if you do the math on the cleaning and chores his $80 once every two weeks wouldn't touch it. Now that he knows you have savings and investments he wants to go halfsies but still wants the illusion he is paying for the meal.
    via GenuineClamhat
  • 16
    You probably shouldn't even see him as a friend, let alone a boyfriend. I wouldn't treat my friends this way. This man is probably selfish to the core and works very hard at convincing you
    via GenuineClamhat
  • 17
    and himself that he's somehow being fair. In a situation where his angle is "Only if it benefits me," he is of a mind to never look out for you. You cannot build a future with a person like this.
    via GenuineClamhat
  • 18
    very tired_engineer • 2d ago Sounds more like a leech than a friend. Nickel and dime-ing you over consumables is so dumb. Rent makes sense for 50/50 but the rest is idiotic. I think he would be 100% ok with blowing through your savings. Its "free" money to him after all
    via very_tired_engineer
  • 19
    Dogdaze32 2d ago Yeah, dump him before he steals your savings and leaves you broke with bad credit. You've been warned, now take those red flags and bounce. Also make very sure you have a credit
    via Dogdaze32
  • 20
    freeze on everything and no way for him to get at your bank account. You may say, "But he's not like that," but apparently if he feels you have to pay for everything and do most of the work in the relationship he is.
    via Dogdaze32
  • 21
    Mystepchilds 2d ago OP I hope at some point of your life you meet a guy who wants to treat you as well as you treat him. And that has nothing to do with savings or income - it's an ATTITUDE.
    via Mystepchilds****
  • 22
    His attitude s 's and a good rule of thumb is that you should never treat someone like a priority when they treat you like an option. He should go home to his mom.
    via Mystepchilds****
  • 23
    MediumPuzzleheaded82 • 2d ago Immediately no. That's giving roommate, not boyfriend!
    via MediumPuzzleheaded82
  • 24
    littlepawroars • 1d ago ୮ J. I learned the hard way that unless a man can fully provide, I would be very cautious in sharing a life with him intertwined like this. Obviously I don't mean be dependent on a man, but what is yours is yours and if he wants a
    via littlepawroars
  • 25
    partner who does most of domestic labor, etc then he should be willing to adequately support you. Bc housekeeping and everything else you provide is not cheap. Like, he would have to pay for those services outside of a domestic relationship right? Like, why is he even...
    via littlepawroars
  • 26
    yesnomaybe123no OP • 1d ago One time I asked him to drop me off at the airport. He said it was too early in the morning and I should have picked a flight that worked for him. He wasn't
    via yesnomaybe123no
  • 27
    working at the time he just couldn't be bothered to make any kind of effort for me. Like yeah it's a hassle to wake up early but maybe just try and help me out in some way...
    via yesnomaybe123no
  • 28
    tikkikittie 1d ago This should have been a before we moved in together conversation My partner and I have a whoever has the idea pays plan So if I decide to go out I pay, if it's his idea he pays
    via tikkikittie
  • 29
    yesnomaybe123no OP 1d ago. We actually talked about it before we moved in. I was fine with rent and bills being 50/50 and I asked if when we go out for a date can he pay. He said that's normal in
    via yesnomaybe123no
  • 30
    his culture and he would do it. It seems he changed his mind now he knows I have savings, or was never really happy to do it in the first place and it was just a lie.
    via yesnomaybe123no

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